Movie Review: Resident Evil: Retribution

Movie: Resident Evil: Retribution (also: Resident Evil 5)
Genres: Horror, Action, Thriller, Sci-Fi
Runtime: about 96 minutes
Format: 2D and 3D
Rated: R
Studio: Constantin Film
Country: USA
Language: English
Official Website: http://www.residentevil-movie.com/site/

Director: Paul W. S. Anderson
Producers: Paul W. S. Anderson, Jeremy Bolt, Don Carmody, Samuel Hadida, Robert Kulzer
Writer: Paul W. S. Anderson
Cast: Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Kevin Durand, Sienna Guillory, Shawn Roberts, Aryana Engineer, Colin Salmon, Johann Urb, Boris Kodjoe, Li Bingbing.

Release Date: September 14, 2012
Find it: At your local Cinema
Scores:

Metacritic: 39/100 (critics); 5.6/10 (users)
Rotten Tomatoes: 27% (critics); 56% (users)

My Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Hey everybody, let's play "name that quote," shall we? Can you name which character said this particular line and which of the Resident Evil movies is it from?

"You are all going to die down here!"

Well, if you said "The Red Queen, Resident Evil 1," you are CORRECT!! Congratulations! You are either a fan of the movie franchise or well acquainted with your pop culture.

If your answer was "The Red Queen, Resident Evil: Retribution (or RE: 5)," you are most certainly CORRECT as well. Congratulations! You have officially been tortured at the movie theater.

Review: Teddy Bears and Tea Parties (Spoilers Free)

Title: Teddy Bears and Tea Parties
Series: Standalone Story, so far…
Author: S. Boyd Taylor
Illustrator: Jorge Rodas
Publisher: S. Boyd Taylor; Premium Illustrated Version edition
Publication Date: August 12, 2011
Reviewed Format: Kindle Edition
My Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.5) (sorry, this code does not allow for half stars)

If you like your reviews spoiler free continue reading this post. If you don't mind a few spoilers, there is another version, a bit extended.

Ever wonder how things would have been if your favorite childhood toys all of a sudden came to life? Wouldn’t that had been the best time of your life, to finally have the toys interact back? What if they did but they were not as innocent and good as you thought them? What if instead of playing they’ll try to eat you alive? That is the premise of Teddy Bears and Tea Parties, a world where children most adapt or die and adults seem to be nowhere to be found.

I’m not even sure how to begin reviewing this one. Teddy Bears and Tea Parties is a short (about 13 pages long) that tells the story of young child, known throughout as “Little Girl”, who’s in a mission to find her kidnapped sister, Angie, who was taken by Him.

In Little Girl’s world magic has, somehow, come back and has given life to EVERYTHING, from the toys to even the houses; and everything is hungry and must be fed. There is a line in the book that pretty much summarizes its concept: “The world is alive since the magic came back, and children are small and make a good snack. And everything tricks and everything cheats and everything, everything, everything eats.” Much like this one there are a few other phrases that give a sense of creepiness and uneasiness, which I assume is what the author was going after.

Review: Teddy Bears and Tea Parties (Some Spoilers)

Title: Teddy Bears and Tea Parties
Series: Standalone Story, so far…
Author(s): S. Boyd Taylor

Illustrator: Jorge Rodas
Publisher: Publisher House if available
Publication Date: August 12, 2011
Reviewed Format: Kindle Edition
My Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.5) (sorry, this code does not allow for half stars)

If you would prefer to read the review Spoiler Free, please follow this link.

Ever wonder how things would have been if your favorite childhood toys all of a sudden came to life? Wouldn’t that had been the best time of your life, to finally have the toys interact back? What if they did but they weren't as innocent and good as you thought them? What if, instead of playing, they’ll try to eat you alive? That is the premise of Teddy Bears and Tea Parties, a world where children most adapt or die and adults seem to be nowhere to be found.

I’m not even sure how to begin reviewing this one. Teddy Bears and Tea Parties is a short (about 13 pages long) that tells the story of young child, known throughout as “Little Girl”, who’s killing bears (yes, your read correctly, bears) left and right in order to find her kidnapped sister. The short opens with “Little Girl” wiping a blood stain from the kitchen window; afterwards she proceeds with her mission searching for her sister, Angie, who was taken by Him, also known as Himn; the evil character and main antagonist in the story.

In Little Girl’s world magic has, somehow, come back and has given life to EVERYTHING, from the toys to even the houses; and everything is hungry and must be fed. There is a line in the book that pretty much summarizes its concept: “The world is alive since the magic came back, and children are small and make a good snack. And everything tricks and everything cheats and everything, everything, everything eats.” Much like this one there are a few other phrases that give a sense of creepiness and uneasiness, which I assume is what the author was going after.

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks

Title: The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead
Series: Stand Alone Work
Author(s): Max Brooks
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Publication Date: September 23, 2011
Reviewed Format: e-Pub Edition
My Rating:  ★★★☆☆

Ok, I first heard about this book while watching Deadliest Warrior’s season finale in Spike. For those who don’t know the series takes two extremely famous (deadly) warriors and matches them up through computer based statistics; example: Alexander the Great vs Attila the Hun. For their latest season finale they decided to takes things to the paranormal level and match up Zombies vs Vampires.

Now, I got interested in the book so I research a bit about it and most of the reviews seem favorable so I went and got it. I wasn’t sure what to expect out of this book but humor wasn’t it and it is certainly extremely funny.

As the book begins you get a rundown of what are zombies, how they are created and how long they’ve been around. From there it moves into a more or less detailed description of which weapons and combat techniques are “proven” to work best on zombies. It shows the reader the various ways to survive a zombie attack ranging from fending oneself against 5 or 6 zombies, all the way to full blown apocalypse. It even gives advice on post-apocalyptic survival. From this point on the book details – in chronological order – numerous attacks through history and their outcomes. As a bonus, the reader gets an Appendix which examples how to keep an outbreak journal so that a zombie attack can be identified.

In all, the book is a funny way to kill some time. I’ll recommend it to anyone who likes zombies or dystopian themed books.